NFL
GAMEDAY: Chiefs face Cardinals in first preseason game of 2025
GAMEDAY: Chiefs face Cardinals in first preseason game of 2025
**BREAKING: Chiefs to Play Cardinals on Mars in First Preseason Game of 2025**
**KANSAS CITY, MO** — In a shocking twist that has rocked the sports world and baffled NASA officials, the Kansas City Chiefs are set to face the Arizona Cardinals in the first preseason game of 2025 — **on the surface of Mars**.
The game, originally scheduled for State Farm Stadium, was inexplicably relocated after Chiefs head coach Andy Reid reportedly “wanted to spice things up” and “test Mahomes’ arm in low gravity.”
“We’ve already won a few Super Bowls on Earth,” said Reid in a press conference while sipping Tang through a space helmet. “Time to conquer the cosmos.”
### Mahomes to Throw 300-Yard Passes?
Quarterback Patrick Mahomes, equipped with a specially designed helmet that reads defensive schemes in Martian dust storms, appeared excited for the challenge.
“I’ve always wanted to throw a football into orbit,” Mahomes said. “And I’m pretty sure the Martian secondary can’t cover Kelce.”
Meanwhile, Travis Kelce has been hard at work learning the native dances of Mars in preparation for touchdown celebrations. “The Griddy is out. I’m bringing in the Red Rock Shuffle,” he said, surrounded by a group of confused astronauts.
### Cardinals “Totally Ready” After Watching *The Martian* Twice
The Arizona Cardinals, not to be outdone, have reportedly trained for this game by watching *The Martian* twice and purchasing a used SpaceX shuttle off eBay.
“We’re good,” said new Cardinals head coach, who has requested anonymity after accidentally referring to Venus as “Mars’ cousin.” “Altitude’s no problem. We’ve practiced without oxygen.”
### Key Concerns:
* The coin toss may drift into the stratosphere.
* Timeouts will be delayed 15 minutes due to lag in communication with Earth.
* Martian soil may interfere with Gatorade absorption.
Despite these challenges, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell expressed support: “This is the kind of interplanetary expansion we’ve been waiting for. Football is universal — even if there’s no atmosphere.”
### Kickoff at 3:30 ET / 1 Sol Martian Time
Fans on Earth can tune in to the broadcast via ESPN 9: Intergalactic Edition. The halftime show will feature Elon Musk and a hologram of Vince Lombardi performing a duet of “Rocket Man.”
No word yet on whether season ticket holders will be reimbursed for the cost of interplanetary travel.
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