BREAKING NEWS at Washington D.C. —Barron Trump, son of President Donald J. Trump, has tragically passed away just weeks after enlisting in the United States Navy. Sources close to the Trump family confirmed the devastating news early this morning, stating only that Barron’s passing was due to…see more

BREAKING NEWS at Washington D.C. —Barron Trump, son of President Donald J. Trump, has tragically passed away just weeks after enlisting in the United States Navy. Sources close to the Trump family confirmed the devastating news early this morning, stating only that Barron’s passing was due to…see more

### BREAKING: Barron Trump Joins Navy for “Peace and Quiet,” Immediately Regrets Decision

**Washington, D.C.** — In an unexpected twist, Barron Trump, the famously tall and famously private youngest son of former President Donald J. Trump, reportedly enlisted in the U.S. Navy last month in a bold attempt to escape public attention — and his father’s dinner table monologues.

“He just wanted some peace and quiet,” said an anonymous Navy recruit who claims to have briefly bunked next to Barron during basic training. “He said, and I quote, ‘Honestly, I’d rather swab decks than hear another story about the 2016 election.’”

But peace and quiet were short-lived.

Within days, reports surfaced of President Trump attempting to land Air Force One on the aircraft carrier where Barron was stationed, allegedly to “check in on the boy and drop off some MAGA merch.”

The Navy has since reassigned Barron to a top-secret undisclosed location, believed by insiders to be a floating bunker somewhere in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

When reached for comment, Trump stated: “Barron is doing tremendously. He’s probably the best sailor the Navy’s ever seen. Everyone says so.”