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Musk wants to leave politics because he’s tired of ‘attacks’ from the left, report says

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**HOAX HEADLINES: Elon Musk Quits Politics After Left-Wing Group Accuses Him of Colonizing Twitter**

*April 29, 2025 – In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through SpaceX, Tesla, and the online meme economy, Elon Musk has announced plans to exit politics altogether, citing relentless “attacks” from the left — including recent claims that he’s attempting to ‘colonize free speech.’*

“I’m just trying to build electric cars and land rockets on boats,” Musk reportedly told a group of AI-powered cats during a secret Mars-themed press conference. “But if defending my memes makes me the villain, then fine — I’m Iron Man now.”

### The Final Straw

Sources close to Musk say the final straw was a viral TikTok campaign launched by a group calling themselves “Progressives for Pluto,” which accused Musk of trying to buy the moon “for political influence and lunar crypto-mining.” Their 38-second video, featuring a raccoon dressed like Bernie Sanders, garnered 47 million views in under six hours.

Musk responded by posting a single cryptic tweet:
> “I liked politics better when it was just building flamethrowers.”

### Tesla Board Reacts

Tesla board members were reportedly caught off guard by Musk’s abrupt exit. One anonymous executive said, “We were just about to launch Dogecoin-powered vehicles. Now we might have to pivot to something less controversial, like gluten-free rocket fuel.”

### What’s Next?

Insiders suggest Musk plans to shift focus to a new venture called “PoliVac,” a robot vacuum that sucks up political discourse from social media and replaces it with cat videos. He’s also rumored to be working on an X-branded “Truth Drone” that flies overhead during political rallies, dropping fact-checks on the crowd in real-time.

When asked if he’ll ever return to politics, Musk reportedly shrugged and said, “Only if they let me host SNL again.”

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