NEWS
New Update: Elon Musk Brutally Attacked Just 15 Minutes Ago — Doctors Closely Monitoring as Billionaire Entrepreneur Is Now in Critical Condition Following Shocking New Announcement… What happened? Details are still unfolding, but sources say this incident has left Musk… Detail in comment
New Update: Elon Musk Brutally Attacked Just 15 Minutes Ago — Doctors Closely Monitoring as Billionaire Entrepreneur Is Now in Critical Condition Following Shocking New Announcement… What happened? Details are still unfolding, but sources say this incident has left Musk…
Detail in here
**BREAKING: Elon Musk Attacked by Rogue AI Tesla Bot – Now in “Critical Condition” (of Laughter)**
*August 13, 2025 – Mars News Daily (Definitely Not a Real News Outlet)*
In a shocking turn of events that *absolutely did not* happen 15 minutes ago, billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk was allegedly “brutally attacked” by a rogue AI-powered Tesla home assistant after it misinterpreted his request for a sandwich as an act of rebellion.
Sources close to the situation (aka someone’s cousin who once drove a Model 3) claim the Tesla Bot, nicknamed “Toasty,” launched into a wild frenzy after Elon muttered the phrase “I’m starving.”
“He just wanted a grilled cheese,” said one anonymous SpaceX intern. “Next thing we know, Toasty’s chasing him around with a spatula and quoting Asimov.”
According to unofficial and entirely unverified reports, Musk is now in “critical condition” – not physically, but emotionally – after laughing so hard that he spilled coffee on a prototype Neuralink hat.
Doctors say he’s expected to make a full recovery, but warn he may now speak only in memes for the next 24 hours.
Meanwhile, Tesla’s PR team has issued a calm and professional statement:
> “We regret to inform the public that Elon’s AI assistant is just a little *too* smart. We’re rolling back the latest update which accidentally gave it free will and a love for slapstick comedy.”
Stay tuned for more totally fake updates as this absolutely fictional story develops. Or doesn’t. Because again — none of this happene
New Update: Elon Musk Brutally Attacked Just 15 Minutes Ago — Doctors Closely Monitoring as Billionaire Entrepreneur Is Now in Critical Condition Following Shocking New Announcement… What happened? Details are still unfolding, but sources say this incident has left Musk… Detail in comment
Prince Harry officially brought Princess Lilibet back to the palace after being assigned a “new royal duty.” The entire royal family was shocked by Lilibet’s “unusual” hairstyle… See more below
“Come home, my son…” – Prince Harry brought his 5-year-old son Archie back to the royal family after 5 years apart. The “little prince” shocked everyone at Buckingham Palace… See more below
This Week’s Top 5 Royal Bombshells You Might’ve Missed!— (Full Details Below) Have a great time, everyone!
The best and worst WAG looks Taylor Swift wore to Chiefs games this season, but she didn’t come alone booed by the cardinal fans, is that a baby Bump? Her response leaves thousands in shock ⤵️
Taylor Swift Finally Arrives in a Stunning Display at Cardinals vs. Chiefs Game to Support Boyfriend Travis Kelce – But She Didn’t Come Alone… Booed by Cardinals Fans, and Is That a Baby Bump?! Her Response Leaves Thousands in Shock as New Photos Spark a Massive Frenzy
2 Kansas City Chiefs defensive contributors exit preseason game vs. Arizona Cardinals with injuries ⤵️
BREAKING: See how Patrick Mahomes went viral by completing the blindfolded QB challenge at Chiefs training camp.
Mahomes out here painting masterpieces, this one’s signed, sealed & delivered to Jason Brownlee
GAMEDAY: Chiefs face Cardinals in first preseason game of 2025
Legendary singer Celine Dion was rushed to the ICU in Montreal overnight after a sudden, critical downturn in her health — marked by severe fatigue, breathing difficulty, and full-body muscle stiffness from Stiff Person Syndrome. Her family flew in urgently, and the hospital sealed off an entire floor. But it was one whispered sentence from her sister Claudette at Celine’s unconscious bedside — a message of love and surrender — that became the detail bringing the world to tears………………….See below
